


Hidden World

by Klance_hell



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blind Lance, Gen, I'm flying by the seat of my pants with this one guy, M/M, My First Fanfic, Not sure yet though, Permanent Injury, Poisoning, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, There will probably be a happy ending, caring keith, graphic description of suicide attempt, just making it up as I go, lots of suffering, sorry everyone, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2018-08-13 22:23:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7988257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klance_hell/pseuds/Klance_hell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a party on a foreign planet Lance is poisoned and loses his sight. Now him and the rest of the Paladins have to figure out how to move on with or without him.</p><p> </p><p>***on hiatus***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction so any constructive criticism is welcome. If anyone wants to volunteer to help edit or write this please message me. I would love to have you join.

Lance leaned into the comforting familiarity of the couch on which he sat. He heard people talking, but he couldn’t see past the nothingness that clouded his vision. He hated the nothingness, it trapped him alone with his thoughts and offered no comfort. It had changed him from a strong confident Paladin to a useless, lump of self-pity.

Like usual his thoughts trailed back to his mom. What would she think of him now? Would she be proud of him? Would she feel sorry for him? His mom would cry, he knew that for sure, he felt a twinge of pain in his chest at the thought. What did the Garrison tell her when he left? Was he a wanted criminal back at home or was he simply missing? Lance didn’t know which one would be easier for her.

His throat tightened and he pushed himself up off the couch in an attempt to distract himself. He stumbled around a bit before tripping over what felt like another couch. Strong arms caught him before he could perform a face plant though.

“Careful Lance. Here I’ll help you.” Lance pushed Keith away and steadied himself.

“I can do it dammit.” He scowled at what he hoped was Keith's face.

“Lance stop being stupid and use the damn cane,” Pidge grumbled from somewhere off to his left.

“I don’t need it.”

“Yes, you do. You’re fucking blind dumbass.”

“Pidge! Language.” Shiro scolded. Lance hadn’t even heard him enter the room. Just goes to show how useless he had become as of late. He feels a warm hand cradle his as a cylinder of cool metal is pressed into it.

“Take it. I know you hate it but it’s for your own good.” Keith spoke softly as he curled Lance’s fingers around the cane. Lance grudgingly took it and began to shuffle away, waving the stick in front of himself. It took longer than it normally would exit the room. The whole time Lance could feel the eyes of his fellow paladins watching him. Keith kept a hand on Lance’s left elbow to help steady him.

“Where are we headed?” He asked.

“I don’t know where you’re going but I’m going back to my room.” Keith blew out a sigh.

“I’ll help you there. I don’t want you to get lost or hurt yourself.”

“Oh, so now you care about me? What happened to being rivals?”

“That was something you just decided when we first met.”

“NO! Goddammit, how many times do I have to tell you? We are rivals. It’s always been Lance and Keith neck in neck. It will always be like….” Lance trailed off. He deflated somewhat as he muttered. “Well, it should have always been like that....”

“Don’t be like that...” Keith began before Lance cut him off.”

“Don’t be like what? I can’t even find my bedroom let alone fly Blue. And if you haven’t noticed yet Voltron can’t be formed without me. I might as well be dead for all the help I can offer.” Lance stomped on ahead of Keith. Lance didn’t need Keith’s pity nor his help. Keith let him go without a fight. He was probably sick of Lance’s attitude anyway.

It took longer than Lance cared to admit but he did manage to find his bedroom by himself. It was thanks to the braille signs Coran had kindly added to every door and intersection in the castle. Even though Lance was still learning Braille, he had enough letters down to have an idea where he was heading. Though he still misread the signs and got lost every once in awhile. 

Lance entered his room and shuffled towards the bed. He dropped his cane and face planted into the pillows just as the tears began to fall. He buried his face into the pillow and quietly sobbed. What he wouldn’t give to turn back time. It had only been a short time since the incident but he was already tired of burdening his teammates with his uselessness. Slowly the tears receded and Lance fell into a restless slumber.


	2. Too good to be true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. I'm surprised so many people liked my story. Thank you to each and everyone of you. I love you all. :) Also if anyone wants to cowrite this or help edit send me a message on my Tumblr. See the end of the story for more information.

A couple weeks earlier

‘What do you suppose this drink is called?” Pidge asked as they eyed their glass.

“I don’t know. It kind of looks like pee though. Not that it tastes like pee. In fact, it kind of tastes like grapes which weird because it's yellow.” Hunk said as he swished his drink around in his cup.

“I don’t care to find out what is it. It’s probably made from something alien and gross.” Lance made a face as he took a sip. “It’s good, though.” Keith shrugged his shoulders as he surveyed the room.

Lance’s eyes wandered around the room landing on people for a few seconds then moving on. Out of all the aliens, he had seen since becoming a Paladin of Voltron these were by far the weirdest. Each one of them was a different shade of blue, and had hair stuck straight up and appeared to move by itself. They kind of reminded Lance of the ocean back home. It made them hard to look at without getting a bit homesick.

His heart sank a little bit as he stared into the bright yellow liquid in his cup. What were his family doing right now? Besides his family, the ocean was one of the things Lance missed the most. He missed being able to feel the sun on his face as he waded into the cold waves with his siblings. The only time he got to feel the sun was when they were in the middle of a mission. And even then it wasn’t like he could enjoy it.

“Earth to Lance… Hello.” Pidge waved a hand in front of Lance’s face. He blinked and shook his head.

“I’m here. What’s up?”

“Are you ok?” Hunk asked, his eyebrows knit together. “You’ve been kind of out of it since we got back. Did you hit your head or something?”

Lance shook his head. “No. I’m just tired from the fight. Isn’t everyone?”

“Yeah. I guess so....” Hunk nodded as he glanced around.

‘Anyway, we were wondering if you noticed that girl over there. She’s definitely checking you out.” Pidge sneakily pointed towards a female alien with skin the colour of earth skies. She glanced over at Lance again and winked, crooking a finger in a come here gesture. Hunk gently nudged Lance’s back.

“Go for it, buddy.”

“Yeah. A woman actually wants to get to know you. I should mark this on my calendar.” Pidge teased. “Go now before she notices just who exactly you are.”

“She won’t have to worry about that. She picked the right Paladin to ask for.” Lance said. Pidge rolled their eyes.

“Whatever.

“I don’t think you should go,” Keith spoke up. Lance had forgotten he was there, he was much too quiet.

“Oh is that jealousy I detect in your voice?” He cupped an ear and leaned towards Keith.

“No, I just think….” Keith was cut off by Lance waving a pretend gadget in his face.

“Beep. Beep. Beep.” Lance said, his voice rising with each word.

“What are you doing?” Keith asked, backing away from him.

Lance looked at Pidge and Hunk with an exaggerated shocked expression. “You two would not believe the readings I’m getting here. The jealousy levels are through the roof.” Keith smacked his hand away.

“Knock that off. I’m not jealous, idiot. It’s just that this seems a little too good to be true.”

Pidge nodded. “Keith is right. A girl wanting Lance, isn’t that a little too weird?” Hunk and Pidge laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Shiro asked as he joined the group.

“Lance has been summoned by a female,” Pidge said matter of factly.

“That’s a first, ” Shiro said. A grin widened on his face.

“Screw you guys. I don’t have to take this. I’m going to where I’m appreciated.” Lance marched off towards the bright blue alien.

“Wait! Lance come back!” Hunk called. “We appreciate you.” Hunk sounded sincere, but behind him he could hear the other Paladins roaring with laughter. Screw them. He could pick up girls if he wanted. He just hasn’t been very motivated to recently.

 

Lance winked as he approached her. “Hey, are you the moon? Because your beauty is out of this world.” She giggled and offered him her hand to shake.

“Hello. I’m Trege. Your words are as smooth as ghup. Do you practice these lines often?” Lance shook her hand, puzzled.

“I’m Lance and uh. Thank you? I don’t practice often, though.” She nodded.

“So Lance. Do you enjoy being a Paladin?”

‘I enjoy meeting pretty ladies like you.” he grinned. She blushed a bit at that. Then she gestured around the room.

“It’s too loud in here, do you want to go somewhere else for a little more one on one conversation?” Trege looked down shyly. “Maybe you can take me for a ride on your lion?”

Lance shifted nervously. He flashbacked to last time a cute girl wanted to ride on his lion. It had ended up with him handcuffed to a tree and his lion stolen. No way was he doing that again, especially since he just got Keith and Pidge to stop teasing him about it. “Sorry, no can do. But I can take you out on a shuttle though and show you my piloting skills.”

She looked a bit disappointed at that. “That’s a shame. But I guess we can do that instead.” She sighed but soon smiled again. “Let’s get going then!” She grabbed his hand and he pulled her through the crowd.

* * * * * * * *

Keith watched them leave in disapproval. Something was off about this whole thing, and it frustrated him that he couldn’t put his finger on it. He was about to follow them when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder. He looked up to find Shiro shaking his head.

“Let the boy have his fun.”

“But..” Keith complained.

‘He recently got dragged away from his family and now he has to fight to save the universe. A night laughing at a party will do him some good. Let him be a teen again just for one night.” Shiro smiled. “And you as well. Go find someone to hang out with.” Keith watched the forms of Lance and his new friend disappear into the hallway.

“I don’t like it. Something's wrong with this picture.”

“Leave it. I’ll keep an eye out for anything suspicious. But until something does happen I want you to try to have some fun.” Keith grumbled but turned away from where Lance had gone. He looked around instead for Pidge and Hunk.

They appeared to be challenging two aliens to an arm wrestling competition. Pidge was giving it their best shot, both of them were red-faced and shaking. There was a cry of triumph when Pidge finally slammed their opponents hand down onto the table. The alien smiled and shook out his hand before offering it to Pidge to shake.

“Is this what you two have been doing all evening?” He asked as he walked up to the tables. Hunk turned around, which cost him the match. His opponent cheered as he won.

“No. Before we were placing bets on if Lance would get turned down after he introduced himself. And before that, we played some sort of hand game. We stopped after hearing that the goal was to break your opponent's fingers.” Hunk rubbed the back of his head as he thanked his opponent for playing. The alien smiled at him before walking off.

“Where did Lance go?” Pidge asked.

“They left.”Keith groaned. “I hope that idiot doesn’t take her out on his lion.”

“If he does it free ammunition to tease him with.” Pidge smiled.

“Come join us while we wait for him.” Hunk said. Keith joined in on the fun but the voice in the back of his mind continued to nag at him as it warned him of something. It kept him on edge and wary.

 

* * * * * * * *

“We’ll fly in this one.” Lance pointed to the nearest shuttle in the hanger. They were still holding hands despite being out of the crowd and Lance was very aware of her cold hand in his. They entered the ship and he had just sat down in the pilot's seat when he felt something prick the side of his neck. He slapped a hand over the spot.

“Ouch. What was that?” He asked. Suddenly his arm felt too heavy for him to hold up and it slapped down onto his lap. “Wha..hap...ing..?” He tried to speak but his tongue felt like it was stumbling around in his mouth. He didn’t even notice his vision beginning to blur until Trege stuck her head in front of him.

“You made this way too easy Paladin.” Lance blinked hard as she swam in and out of focus.

“Wha….id….yo...do..” he managed to get out as she effortlessly scooped him up and carried him towards the ship's door.

“I just shot you full of the poisonous nectar of a Wyvern flower. The paralyzing is temporary so don’t worry. Not that it matters, you’ll be dead in the next hour anyway. You guys really shouldn’t be so careless when it comes to outsiders.” She laughed as she kicked open the ship door and effortlessly tossed Lance out. “Sorry but I don’t want to have to deal with a body while escaping.”

Lance flopped gracelessly down the stairs. Stars lit up his vision as the back of his head smacked unceremoniously into the hard ground at the bottom. The last thing Lance registered before succumbing to the head injury and effects of the poison was Trege waving sweetly.

“You’re a sweet boy, and it’s nothing personal. But what Lord Zarkon orders shall happen. Maybe in another life we could have been something.” The world faded as Lance passed out.

* * * * * * * *

Keith glanced around. It had been a while since Lance had left. He should’ve been back by now, where was he?


	3. Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you who read this. I love you all. Sorry it took so long to publish this chapter despite it's length. I have a lot of school work that needs to be completed.

_**Present Moment** _

Lance awoke to the soft click of his bedroom door. Normally such a sound wouldn’t wake him, but after the accident he found it uncomfortable to sleep with his usual headphones in. He didn’t like not knowing what was out there. He lay there in the nothingness around him waiting for whoever was there to state their business. Lance guessed the lights were still off judging from how careful the person seemed to be walking around. That was odd. Why would someone come invade his privacy without turning on the light?

“Who’s there?” He grumbled into the dark. There was a loud crash followed by Keith’s loud cursing.

“What the hell are you doing in my room?” Lance growled.

“Your room?! What are you talking about? This is mine!” Keith sputters. Lance can hear him stumbling over to the light switch. He must have run into something in the dark when Lance startled him. Good. He hoped it hurt.

“The sign on the door says otherwise. You’re in the wrong room mullethead.”

“I’m supposed to trust the reading abilities of a blind man? That’s rich. This is clearly my room. Just touch one of the objects on the end table if you don’t believe me.” Lance flinched a little at his words, but did as Keith suggested and reached over to the end table. It took a bit of awkward waving, but when he managed to locate the table his hand ran into something and knocked the object off onto the floor.

“Hey watch it! Those are my things you’re throwing around.” Lance felt Keith walk over to retrieve his lost items. “Are you going to stay here or leave? Either way I plan on sleeping in that bed. Its past 3am, I’m too tired to argue with you anymore.” Lance blushed and quickly grabbed his cane before pushing himself off the bed.

“Do you need help?” Keith lazily asked, as if it was an afterthought in his sleep deprived brain.

“No. Go to sleep I can do this by myself.” Lance shuffled towards the door.

“Alright be careful.” Keith murmured. Then his voice took on a more disgusted tone.

‘Eww you drooled all over my pillow.” Lance let the door slam a little harder than necessary as he left. Stupid Keith.

* * * * * *

As much as Keith hated to admit it he kind of enjoyed laying in the warm patch on the bed that Lance had been in. In a way that warmth was soothing.

It had been a shock finding Lance in his bed. If Lance hadn’t been so angry it might have even been a nice discovery. Wait. What? Keith shook his head. The lack of sleep was getting to him. That's what it was. Keith rolled away onto the other side of the bed.

 _Will Lance make it to his room ok?_ He wondered as he stared at the ceiling. Knowing Lance, he would probably find a way to hurt himself. After all he had the most healing pod visits out of all the other Paladins combined. No one was surprised anymore when Lance got injured. Not that they didn’t care, they just learned to expect it. It was kind of a running joke now among the Paladins. Or was. Until Lance’s accident.

Keith flopped around in his bed. Sleep wasn’t an option anymore. Sighing he flung off the covers and threw on his jacket as he headed for the door.

“Goddammit Lance.” He grumbled.

The hallway was dark and empty when he stuck his head out. All the Paladins rooms were close to each other so getting to Lance’s room didn’t take long. He was relieved to see light spilling out from underneath Lance’s door. _At least he doesn’t have to worry about light in his eyes while trying to sleep._ Keith thought.

“See nothing to worry about.” He whispered to himself shaking his head. Lance’s door creaked open just as Keith was about to leave and Lance stuck his head out.

“Who’s there? Mullethead? Goddammit it better not be you. I told you I can make it back by myself.” Lance said. Keith debated just walking away since it was obvious that Lance had no idea where he was. Even though he was addressing Keith he was looking away from him and talking to the empty half of the hallway. It was a painful reminder in Keith’s heart that things would never again be the same. He stepped towards Lance.

“How’d you know I was here?”

“Pidge installed a device for me.” Lance said. He waited a moment, tapping his foot impatiently when the silence stretched on. “Well?” Lance asked.

“Well what?” Keith said. It was harsher than he had intended but the lack of sleep was making him irritated.

“Why don’t you believe me? It was a simple reading error that had me in your room. The braille for K and L are very similar. It won’t happen again. Now go away. You’ll need sleep to pilot the Red lion accurately.” Keith tiredly nodded.

“I guess that’s one perk for you. No more early rising.” They both froze. “Shit. Ah hell. That’s not what I meant. I-i didn’t mean to say that….. It’s just you like to sleep in….” Lance raised a hand in Keith’s general direction to silence him.

“It’s ok. I get what you meant.” Lance’s voice cracked and Keith mentally murdered himself as he walked towards the Blue Paladin.

“No it’s not ok. I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry. The lack of sleep is getting to me. That’s all that was.”

“No. Really. It’s ok. Look it’s late, I’m going to catch some z’s. OK? You should as well.” Lance hurriedly closed the door before Keith could apologize further. Keith gently rested his head on Lance’s door.

“Fuck. What’s wrong with me.” Keith berated himself. He could hear soft sniffles through the cool metal of the door. How could he make it up to Lance? It’s not like Lance would let Keith waltz into his bedroom to comfort him after the horrible things he said. If only he kept his big mouth shut What’s wrong with me? He asked himself again as he slowly and sadly trudged back to his room. The rest of the night was spent tossing and turning as he tried to figure out how he could make it up to Lance the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be about the accident again. Please keep reading. If any of you have ideas for the plot line please share them I would love to hear them. Also if any of you want to help me write this message me. I would love to have you on the team. I'm going to start a new Klance fanfiction soon so keep an eye out for that as well.


	4. The beginning of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well its been forever since I've last posted. Sorry about that. I'm going to start writing at least half an hour every day. School's almost done so soon I'll have all the free time in the world. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I'll try to have the next chapter out sooner than this one, and I'll also try to make them longer. Happy reading. Come visit me on my tumblr: spawn_of_the_devil3

A couple weeks earlier

Shiro glanced around the room. Where was Lance? He should have been back by now. He hoped he wasn’t doing anything stupid again. Shiro sighed. He guessed it was time to go search for him. He felt what was probably Keith’s glare burning into the back of his head as he excused himself from the group of aliens he was chatting with. Keith appeared, brooding and quiet, beside him.

“Did you even try to socialize Keith?” Shiro asked.

“No need. Won’t see them again. Lance has been missing for too long now. I thought you were going to watch out for him?” Shiro exhaled a calming breath.

‘You know how Lance is. He was probably just showing off and lost track of time.” They turned down the corridor that Lance and the girl went down. Keith stubbornly pressed on.

“Remember what happened last time he was showing off for a girl?” Keith growled. “We almost lost the Blue lion and Lance was handcuffed to a tree. Without us to look out for him Lance would have been dead long ago..” Shiro chuckled softy.

“You have no faith in your fellow paladins.” Keith froze and Shiro took a couple more steps before realizing he wasn’t beside him anymore. “Keith?” He glanced back. Keith was standing glaring down the hall.

“Shiro isn’t this the hallway to the hanger?” Keith grumbles. Shiro looked around, he hadn’t even noticed. “That bastard better not have taken her out on a ship….” Keith stalked ahead of Shiro.

“Wait Keith. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He doesn’t do stupid stuff all of the t-” Shiro cut short as they rounded the corner and laid eyes on the crumpled form on the floor.

“LANCE!” Keith cried as he ran to his side. “Lance! Lance! Hey, wake up!” 

Lance groaned and shifted slightly as Shiro tapped him on the cheek. His skin was pale, far too pale for Keith’s liking. He placed a hand on Lance’s forehead and cursed. “Shiro, he’s burning up. What’s wrong with him?” Shiro scooped Lance up in his arms.  
“We need to take him to the medical bay. You go find Coran. Tell him we need a healing pod right away.” Shiro said, barely able to keep the panic out of his voice. Keith hesitated. He was wasn’t totally ready to leave Lance’s side just yet. Especially when he had no idea what was wrong with him, but he also knew the only way to help Lance was to do exactly as Shiro had asked. “Go Keith!” Shiro urged. Lance groaned again from Shiro’s arms spurring them both into action as they ran their separate ways.

* * * * * *  
Coran nearly spit out his drink in surprise as Keith barrelled into the room.

“Coran! It’s Lance…. We need….. a pod.” Keith panted. He bent over at the waist and sucked in air.

“Whoa number four slow down.” Keith took a deep breath and tried to control his breathing.

“Lance was passed out in the hanger. He has a fever and isn’t really responding to anyone. We need a healing pod.” Coran was up and running before Keith could finish his sentence.

“Was he showing any symptoms of this happening beforehand?” Keith shook his head. “Go round up the others and tell Allura we need to put an end to this party.”

“What’s wrong with Lance?” Keith asked. Coran looked uncharacteristically grim for a moment before speaking.

“I don’t know for sure until I check him out, but whatever it is the other Paladins may be in danger too. No more loggy gagging number four. Go do what I instructed while I go take care of Lance.” As they neared the medical bay Keith turned to run back towards the others.

“Don’t let him die Coran. Please.” He begged, hating how his voice broke a bit. Coran just nodded and they moved to focus on their respective duties.

* * * * * *

Keith stepped into the party room and looked around frantically for the others.

“Come on. Come on.” He whispered.

“Keith!” He heard Pidge call as he whirled around. “What’s up? You ok? You look kind of pale.”

“It’s Lance.”

“Is he ok?” Pidge asked tentatively.

“What happened?” Asked Hunk.

“I’m not sure, but Coran thinks the rest of us could be in danger as well. We need to get out of this crowd. Now.” Keith explained and Hunk looked around nervously.

“Let's go then.” Pidge ushered them all through the crowd. Once out they all ran for the med bay as Allura’s voice filtered through out the castle over the loudspeaker.

“Attention all guests. Due to unforeseen circumstances I’m going to have to ask you all to leave. I hope you all enjoyed your evening and on behalf of the Paladians of Voltron I apologize for the sudden ending of our celebration.” The group arrived at the medical bay and were greeted at the door by Shiro.

“Has Coran found what’s wrong yet?” Keith asked. Shiro nodded.

“He thinks Lance was poisoned by a substance called the wyvern flower. Thankfully it’s pretty common so he’s been mixing together an antidote.” They stood around Lance’s bed as they watched him sleep. Lance’s face was twisted in pain and sweat glistened on his body.

“Why isn’t he in a healing pod?” Hunk asked.

“Healing pods are equipped to deal with things other than wounds. It wouldn’t be able to detect a poison running through the human body.” Coran said from behind them. He was mixing a bright pink solution. “That’s also why you can’t go in them when you have a cold either. Could you pass me that syring Hunk?” Coran asked while pointing. Hunk scooped it up and they all watched as Coran carefully filled it with the pink liquid.

Lance groaned behind them and flicked his eyes open. “Wha…?” Was all that he appeared to have the energy to for.

“Lance!” Everyone cried and gathered around his bedside. Lance moved as if to try to get up but his body didn’t seem to want to fully cooperate with him.

“Stay still buddy. Coran just needs to give you the antidote and you’ll be ok.” Shiro spoke as if talking to a scared animal. Lance looked at him. There was something wrong with the way he looked at Shiro and it made Keith’s blood ran cold. Lance wasn’t looking at Shiro so much as he was looking through him.

“Shi...ro?” Lance asked, sounding confused and panicked. “Shi….ro. My…. eyes. Why.. is it... so dark?”

“What’s he talking about?” Pidge asked confused. “It’s not dark.” Shiro never got a chance to answer as Lance’s eyes rolled back in his head and he began to convulse. Everyone panicked then. Hunk broke down crying and hovering over Lance nervously and unsure what to do, while Pidge and Keith both began calling Lance’s name. Shiro tried to usher everyone out of the room and out of the way as Coran rushed forward with the syringe. The last thing Keith saw before Shiro pushed him through the door was Coran tucking a towel underneath Lance’s head as he continued to twitch and jerk around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. I decided to rewrite chapter four after someone pointed out a problem that I should have noticed. But in all seriousness thank you for that :) Anyway here is the edited version of chapter four. Exams are over I'll start writing again.


	5. A New Beginning

Present moment

Breakfast was uncomfortable, to say the least. Usually, tension was high between Keith and Lance, but today it was thick enough to cut through with a bayard. Keith wanted nothing more than to run away and escape the atmosphere of the room. Whenever he was around Lance the memory of the previous night assaulted his mind, like a large angry bee bumping against him.

Though Lance didn’t seem to care about what happened, Keith couldn’t stop thinking about it. The sharpshooter’s attitude towards last night only made Keith feel worse. Didn’t he care at all? Keith had been rude and insensitive to him. So why wasn’t he upset? So far Lance had spent the morning chatting with Pidge and Hunk. He usually didn’t look in Keith’s direction, but that was probably because Keith didn’t feel like talking much so Lance likely wasn’t sure where Keith was sitting. Lance’s eyes roamed around the room trying to follow the conversation around him. The habit of the past kind of creeped Keith out, but he tried to ignore it. It’s not like Lance could help that he kept looking through people instead of at them.

Keith pushed away his plate, the food barely touched. “I’m finished,” He announced. Shiro looked at him with concern.

“Are you okay Keith?” He asked. “You barely touched your food.”

“I’m fine. I’m just not that hungry right now.” Keith said. Shiro nodded, not really looking convinced, but let him go anyway. Keith quickly excused himself from the table and walked to the training room. Once there he called out to the Castle, “Castle training bot level five. Begin!” The floor beneath him whirred as a panel opened up a couple feet ahead of him and a sleek metal bot slowly ascended. Keith transformed his bayard into a sword and took a deep breath as the bot began to charge. With a yell, Keith ran to meet it and the battle began.

* * * *

A couple weeks back

Keith sat numbly at Lance’s bedside. It had been five days since the party and Lance still hadn’t recovered. When asked Coran assured Keith that the antidote was administered quickly enough that Lance would be ok. But Keith remained skeptical and worried. Lance’s normally tanned skin was pale and slick with sweat. He often cried out in his sleep whenever his fever got worse.

The Paladins took shifts watching over Lance. They made sure he didn’t choke on his own puke or stop breathing while he sleeps. The Paladins, once energized and cheerful, were now exhausted both physically and emotionally. All the joy they once got from being a Paladin of Voltron and the determination of protecting the universe was now gone. Without Lance, there was no one to cheer everyone up. No one to lighten the mood of the room. And for the first time in a long time, everyone remembered how dangerous their job could be.

Keith sighed and reached for Lance’s hand. “Please wake up soon.” He whispered, “We need our sharpshooter back.” He closed his eyes and listened to Lance’s heart monitor. Its persistent beeping was soothing in a way. It reminded him that Lance wasn’t dead and that there was still hope he’d be okay. Keith begins to hum softly to himself.

The door slides open suddenly causing Keith to jump. Pidge walks through looking tired, and their eyes are red and puffy from crying. “It’s my turn to watch him. Go get some sleep, Keith. You look like hell.” Pidge moves aside as Keith reluctantly left Lance’s side.

Keith heads to his room but he didn’t sleep. Instead, he turns on the shower and makes the water as cold as he can stand. He drops his clothes to the floor and steps in, already shivering from the cold. Keith sat under the stream, his head resting on his knees. His body shivering from the cold.

When did life get so messed up? Not long ago he had been living on his own in a cabin in the middle of a dessert. No cares in the world, with just himself to worry about. Then Shiro crashed back into his life, literally, and suddenly Keith was being whisked away into a universe he didn’t quite understand. He had gone from having no one, to having a group of people to bother him and poke fun at him. Suddenly Keith had no time alone, except for when he trained by himself during the early morning hours. Keith had gone from having no responsibilities to tasked with saving the entire universe, along with four other people, from some powerful space bully.

Keith curled tighter into himself. He couldn’t do this. He never asked for this. He shut off the water and swiped a towel down his body.

"Enough feeling sorry for yourself." He berated himself. "It’s not going to change anything. What's done is done. Time to move on." He shook his head to clear it. Tomorrow would be different. Lance will wake up and things would be okay. He thought as he dressed. If only he believed it.

* * * *

Present

Keith panted heavily as he lay on the training room’s floor. Sweat poured off of him and his body ached where the bot had landed blows.

“I hope you still have some energy left,” Lance said and Keith felt the soft tap of Lance’s cane against his boot. “Wait. Are you on the floor?” Keith pushed himself up onto his elbows.

“What do you want?” He asked. Lance poked him a couple more times with his cane. “Cut that out,” Keith said irritably as he moved out of range.

“Why are you here?” He asked. Lance looked at his feet and fidgeted.

“I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.” Keith blinked in surprise.

“You need a favor?” He asked, making sure he heard correctly. Lance shifted uncomfortably.

“Ever since my… accident.” He began, choosing his words slowly and carefully. “I’ve been nothing but a weak spot for team Voltron. No one can do their job properly because they always have to make sure I won’t accidentally fall down the stairs and break my neck or something.” He sighed. The sound was simple, but Keith could hear the pain it carried.

“I just want to be useful again, you know?" Lance took a deep breath. "Can you teach me how to fight like this?” Of all the favours Keith had, expected Lance to ask, this was not one of them.

“W-What?” He managed to say.

“You know like they do in the movies. The blind character learns to sense the attacks instead of seeing them or some shit. You can help me with that, right?”

“But Lance, that’s in movies. This is real life. I'm sorry but it probably won’t work.” Keith regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Lance deflated like a popped balloon. He mumbled something that might have been an “okay” and turned to shuffle out of the room. Keith's heart wept as he watched someone who used to be so energetic and graceful reduced to the hunched-over shuffle of someone who’s given up. Keith stood.

“Wait.” He called out to Lance’s retreating back. “Let’s gather the team. Maybe we can figure something out. Like they do in the movies.” Lance turned and Keith's heart lifted. Maybe they could do this. Maybe they could make the impossible happen.

“Let’s prove me wrong.” For the first time in a while, Lance showed a small smile.

* * * *

Past

Lance couldn't remember where he was. His body burned and every muscle ached, but despite that, he still shivered uncontrollably. Who was he? What was he doing here? What was his name? It started with an L, didn’t it? L… L…e…? Lenny? No, that wasn’t right. L..a.. Maybe? Lan.. Lance! His name was Lance! Relief washed over him, one mystery solved. So where was he? Why did he feel so shitty? Memories slowly started floating back. Him showing that girl the hanger. Poison. Then nothing. Lance grew frustrated at his missing memories. Were his friends ok? He tried to open his eyes, but he only managed a flicker of his eyelids. If anyone was around they didn't notice. His bones started melting. With a groan, he tried to curl in on himself, but he only accomplished a twitch of his left hand.

Suddenly there was a cool hand on his forehead. The cold touch felt like heaven, and he greedily leaned into it. Someone was speaking softly to him, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying clearly due to the buzzing in his ears. It sounded kind of like his name. The hand moved up to his hair and Lance relaxed while they started brushing it away from his face. The voice sweetened as it changed into singing. The buzzing faded and Lance began to make out words as they floated through his consciousness.

_“You and me together._   
_Through the days and nights._   
_I don’t worry cause_   
_Everything’s going to be alright”_

The singer sounded sad but hopeful as they continued. It drifted through the air and soothed Lance’s sore and burning body. Between the song and the hand still brushing through his hair he slowly drifted off to sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: There is a video on youtube of Keith's voice actor (Steven Yeun) singing the song featured in this chapter. The song's No One by Alicia Keys.


	6. This is how the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team tries to help Lance navigate the blue lion and his surroundings and then things take a dark turn. TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide attempt. The warning applies only at the end of the chapter when it switches to Lance's point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone,  
> Sorry for the late chapter. I've been looking for a job and then an unexpected family emergency popped up. But everything's ok now. I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it took a darker turn than I thought it would. Happy reading!

**Present**

 

“Okay so tell me how this is supposed to work again?” Hunk asked, voice dripping with skepticism. The team had been sitting on the castle’s couches planning how to help Lance for the last two hours. In the beginning, they had started off filled with enthusiasm, but now the lack of progress was beginning to turn enthusiasm into restlessness and irritability. Pidge sighed and began pacing.

 

“It's simple, we strengthen Lance and Blue’s bond until he can see out of her eyes. What kind of exercises he’ll do with Blue will be left to Shiro since he’ll be supervising Lance,” Pidge looked at Hunk. “And while he’s doing that you and I will try to come up with a device that helps him move around by himself.”  Hunk nodded slowly as he thought it over. Pidge continued. “I know the plan isn’t perfect, but it’s the only plan we have. Why not try it?” Shiro stood and placed a hand on Pidge’s shoulder, successfully stopping their pacing.

 

“It’s worth a shot,” he said. “Let’s try it.”

 

“Will it even work?” Keith spoke up. “Sure it's possible to see out of your lion’s eyes, Shiro’s done it. But he has healthy, working eyes. Lance doesn’t. Who’s to say it’ll even work for him?”

 

“We’ll have to operate under the assumption that it’ll work,” Shiro said simply. “It’s better to try and fail than to not try at all.” Keith shrugged.

 

“I guess..”

 

“I'm not sure I like having Lance in the blue lion alone though. Someone should be with him just in case something happens,” Shiro looked at Keith. “Making sure you two don't get into trouble would be easier if you were together, so Keith, I would like you in the lion with Lance. Can you two handle that without killing each other?”

 

“Don’t worry Shiro, we’ll be fine,” Keith reassured him. Lance just nodded his head.

 

“Good. Then Allura and I will start finding a relatively safe planet for us to land on. It might help Lance pilot the lion if he can feel the ground under its feet.  Lance and Keith will then head out in Blue. I'll take the Black lion to keep an eye on them and provide assistance should anything go wrong. In the meantime Pidge, Hunk and Coran will come up with a device to help him move around while he's outside of Blue.” Shiro instructed.

 

The atmosphere of the room seemed to lighten as the plan began coming together. Hunk ruffled Lance’s hair, a goofy grin on his face.

 

“Don't worry buddy, we’ll have you back in the air in no time,” He said light heartedly. The room began to empty as everyone left to do their assigned tasks, and soon only Lance and Keith were left to stand in silence.

 

Keith stood and placed a hand on Lance's shoulder, causing him to jump a bit. “Come on, we have some time before the mission starts. I want to try something,” Keith grabbed Lance's hand and carefully led him down the castle's winding hallways. All morning, Lance had been unnervingly quiet, quiet enough that he was starting to worry even Keith. Until now Keith had never realized how much he wanted the old Lance back, the one that smiled and flirted with everything under the sun. The Lance who teased him about his hair and pressed all his buttons on a daily basis.

 

“Where are we?” Lance asked as the door in front of them slide open.

 

“The arena,” Keith said. “Humans often rely on their sense of sight far too much. This causes us ignore our other four senses. I figured maybe we could work on sharpening your other senses to help you navigate the world better.”

 

Lance raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Wow, Keith. That almost sounded intelligent. I’m impressed.” Keith glared at him.

 

“You want my help or not?” He growled, Lance raised his hands in surrender. He led Lance into the middle of the room.

 

“Okay. Let’s start with the basics. I’m going to walk around and I want you to point at me with your cane. Keep the cane trained on me as I walk around.”

 

“And how will this help exactly?” Lance asked, skeptically.

 

“It’ll help you locate and follow people. Which will be helpful when walking through crowds.” Lance shrugged.

 

“Sounds good. Let’s give it a try.”

 

Keith began tip toeing around Lance. The closer he got to Lance, the easier it was for Lance to follow him with the cane, but as soon as Keith moved farther away Lance’s accuracy got worse. Every once in awhile when Lance was hopelessly off target Keith would click his tongue and the cane would snap back to him.

 

“You need to focus. Listen to the sound of my footsteps.” Keith scolded for the hundredth time.

 

“I’m trying!” Lance growled as frustration painted his face. “This is harder than it looks asshole!” Just then the door to the arena slide open and in walked Pidge.

 

“What are you two up to?” They asked.

 

“I’m trying to teach Lance to follow noises,” Keith explained. “What brings you here? Aren’t you supposed to be with Hunk and Coran?”

 

“The best way to solve a problem is examining every part of it. So I'm here to watch Lance move around. That way I can accurately identify his weak points, and therefore, build a device that targets and strengthens those specific points," Pidge explained.  "Can you guys to do a variety of activities so I can get a feel for what we need to focus on?” Keith nodded.

 

"Sure. Anything you need."

 

For the next two hours, Keith proceeded to test the limits of Lance’s patience as he forced Lance to do weird and wild activities. Such activities included identifying the difference between Pidge’s and Keith’s footsteps, balancing random things on Lance’s head while he fended off Keith and Pidge’s poking fingers and Lance dodging rubber balls that Keith threw at him. Finally just as a red ball sailed out of Keith’s hand and towards the poor paladin’s unsuspecting head,  Lance had had enough.

 

“What the fuck mullet head?” Lance yelled as the ball bounced off his forehead. “Stop fucking around. Are you even trying to help me, or are you just messing around and enjoying picking on the blind guy?” Keith grabbed another ball, green this time, a whipped it at Lance. He tried to keep a straight face as it bounced off Lance's thigh. Pidge, on the other hand, wasn’t even trying to hide their amusement as they threw back their head and guffawed.

 

“A bit of both,” Keith admitted. Lance’s face turned red and he opened his mouth, most to likely spit out a scathing remark, but Pidge interrupted him before he could start.

 

“Alright Keith, I think I’ve collected enough data. You can stop now.” They said, wiping tears from their eyes.

 

“Yeah, you dick. Stop picking on the blind.” Lance still looked like he wanted to wack Keith upside the head with his cane, but before he could, Allura’s voice came on over the speakers.

 

“Keith. Lance. Please get into the Blue Lion. Shiro will be waiting for you outside.” Keith picked up some of the balls and put them in a mesh bag.

 

“That’s our cue. Come on Lance.” He guided Lance out of the room as Pidge took over gathering up the rest of the rubber balls.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith was thankful for the large cockpits in the lions. He wasn’t fond of the idea of squishing into a small room with an angry Lance. He knew he had crossed a line back in the arena, but he just wanted to have a bit of fun. Lately, a negative atmosphere seemed to cloak everything in the castle. It was hard to do anything without feeling the pessimism drag him down.

 

“Now what?” Lance asked. He was still mad at Keith, but it was fading fast as he concentrated on not crashing the blue lion. Keith pointed to some rocks not far away from their current position before remembering Lance couldn’t see.

 

“Walk slowly towards the rocks on your right. They’re about a 100 yards away.” Lance slowly edged the joystick forward and the Blue Lion began to move. She gradually picked up speed as Lance pushed harder against the joystick.

 

“Lance, how about you slow down for now,” Shiro spoke over the intercom. “There’s no rush to learn.”

 

“Yeah Lance, slow down before we crash,” Keith said, trying not to sound worried about the rocks quickly approaching. Lance spoke through gritted teeth as he frowned in concentration.

 

“Remember when we did that exercise to see through our lion's eyes? The one where we fell from the sky.”

 

“Yeah. So?” Keith asked not sure where he was going with this.

 

“We put ourselves in danger in order to achieve a deeper bond with our lions. So what if we try something like that again?” Keith wanted to smack Lance upside the head.

 

“So your plan is to charge blindly at everything until we both either die in a crash or you see through Blue’s eyes? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

“You have a better idea?” Lance said defensively.

 

“Lance. Keith. That’s enough. Lance, I see where you’re coming from, but I don’t think it's a good idea. Just start slowly for now. We’ll figure something out later.” Lance’s jaw tightened but he slowed down and eventually stopped his lion just 10 yards from the rocks. Keith let out a quiet sigh of relief.

 

“It’s always ‘we’ll figure something out later’ though,” Much to Keith’s surprise Lance’s voice quivered a bit. “What you’re trying to say is that you have no idea how to help me. I’m probably stuck being useless for the rest of my life now, huh?” Keith was mortified when his vision began to blur with tears. For once, Keith was glad Lance couldn’t see him, if he could he’d never let Keith live it down.

 

“Lance,” Shiro said in a level voice. “I promise you. We will help you. Just bare with us while we try to figure this out. Okay?”

 

“Okay.”  Lance sniffled.

 

“Alright then. Let’s try again once more from the top.” Shiro instructed. “Let’s try walking through the rock arch to your left. Keith, guide him.”

 

For the rest of the time, Keith and Lance proceeded to play a scary version of the hot-and-cold game.

 

“Lance! You need to go to your left more!” _Crunch!_ “Fuck! Too far to the left!” Keith yelled as he stumbled forward.

 

“You boys okay?” Shiro asked. They both quickly assured him they were fine, but that the lion may be a bit scratched. It had not been the first time they’d run into something and Keith was sure it wouldn’t be their last. “You want to call it a day for now?” Shiro asked. Keith watched the sinking sun as Lance tried to back his lion up.

 

“Yeah. Come on Lance let’s go back.” Lance deflated like a balloon, and Keith could feel the disappointment flowing off of him. He sighed. Today hadn’t been a waste, right? They had accomplished at least a bit, hadn’t they? Keith shook his head. This wasn’t the time for doubt, he had made a promise to Lance and he intended to keep it. In an attempt to reassure Lance, Keith reached over and patted him on the back causing him to jump in surprise at the sudden contact. Smooth Keith, real smooth.

 

* * *

 

 

When they returned to the ship Lance skipped supper, claiming he had a sore stomach. Nobody was fooled by his act, but they knew it was probably best to let him have some alone time. Shiro let him go but made him promise that he would eat later that evening. Though Lance’s mood still worried Keith he knew he should give him some space. He finished his meal and when everyone else was getting ready to leave he pulled Shiro off to the side.

 

“Hey, um, if you want I can bring Lance some supper later,” Keith said nervously. “To you know, make sure he eats.” Shiro smiled appreciatively.

 

“Thanks, Keith. That would be a lot of help.” Keith nodded and went to relax a bit with Hunk and Pidge as he waited for the right time to bring Lance his meal.

 

**_Lance’s POV (TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT)_ **

 

Lance sat on the edge of his bed and hung his head. He resisted the urge to curl up on his nice soft bed and sleep the evening away.

_Useless. Pathetic._

 

A voice whispered in his ear. For as long as he could remember the voice had been haunting him. Normally he could block it out by cracking jokes, messing around with Hunk or sparing, but ever since the accident it was getting harder and harder. Lance guessed it was because the voice could no longer be proven wrong. He was useless, he couldn’t deny any longer. He couldn’t pilot Blue, he couldn’t fight the galra and without the blue lion Voltron couldn’t be formed. He knew he was holding the team back and it was eating him alive.

 

_You’re a burden to them and you know it. They want a new Blue Paladin but don’t want to hurt your feelings. You’re only going to drag them down._

 

How hard could it be to find another Blue Paladin? Lance had no idea. He didn’t even know what characteristics someone had to possess to be the Paladin of the Blue Lion. There were specific characteristics, right? He didn’t think he’d be surprised to find out there weren’t. It would be fitting if he only got to pilot Blue because he was the only person around and she wasn’t picky.

 

_Do everyone a favor and give up on being the Blue Paladin._

 

The voice whispered. Lance knew he couldn’t just up and leave. It would take too long to find his way out, and even if he did what would he do? Fly one of the shuttles until he found a planet or crashed into something? That would never work, he wouldn’t get very far before the others caught up to him and brought him back to the Castle.

 

 

_Running is cowardly and it won’t make them choose a new Paladin._

 

Lance felt underneath his pillow. Ever since the accident he had taken a page out of Keith’s book and began keeping a small knife under his pillow. He only did it because the fear of waking up to find Trege looming over his bed ready to finish him off was too strong to allow him to sleep without the knife.

 

Lance felt around until he felt the cool metal of the blade. Bringing it out he carefully placed the sharp edge on the soft skin of his wrist.

 

_Do everyone a favor and do it already. DO IT!_

 

The voice egged him on, louder than it had ever been before. He gritted his teeth and dug the blade deep into his flesh. As he dragged it along his wrist he could feel the warm blood as it began to leak down. He could hear the soft pitter patter as the blood hit his blankets. Bringing the knife to his other wrist he repeated the motion. This cut was more jagged and not as deep, but it still bled heartily. Once done he lay back on his bed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was for the best. The others could move on and get back to doing something important instead of wasting their time on him. He sighed and despite everything, smiled a bit. For the first time in a long time, the voice was silent. Lance’s only regret was that he couldn’t leave a note to apologize for all the trouble he had caused.

 

Lance’s head grew fuzzy and he felt the room spin around him as the blood continued to dribble out of him. Vaguely he could hear what sounded like his door opening. There was a clatter as if something ceramic had fallen to the floor. Lance could feel hands on him, fingers moving under his chin to check his quickly fading pulse. Someone was calling his name, the fear in their voice confusing him. Why did they sound so scared? He was doing this for them. They should be happy he finally worked up the nerve to rid them of their burden. He felt something being tied around his wrists and he managed a weak groan of protest.

 

“St...st’p,” He slurred. “J’st.. let m’ die.” Lance couldn’t be sure if the person heard him or not, he hoped they had. The last thing Lance felt before he slipped into the darkness was hands on his body as the mystery person picked him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I'll see you next chapter! Love you all! :)


	7. This Darkness is Suffocating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a rough time dealing with the aftermath of what Lance has done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, everyone. I didn't know so many people would like this story, that makes me really happy. This chapter was by far the hardest to write, a lot of my friends have attempted or committed suicide. So it was hard for me to go back and reread everything I've written. If the editing job is a little slack I apologize. Also please don't be too mad at Keith. I know I made him say some horrible things, but he was really worried about Lance.

White noise buzzed in Keith’s ears as he sprinted down the halls, his legs and arms burned as he struggled to carry Lance. Despite Lance’s lean frame, he was still plenty heavy, a fact Keith was learning quickly. He propelled himself forward desperately hoping it wasn't too late. His legs felt far too slow and the hallways appeared to crawl by. Vaguely, he heard someone cry out for help. Was that his voice? He doesn't remember calling out.

Keith clutches Lance closer to his chest as he continued to run. Every second ticking by makes Lance’s skin paler, his breath slower and Keith’s heart beat faster. Finally, Shiro comes running out from a nearby room, his shirt inside out and hair wet from a shower. The black paladin can’t hide the look on his face when he sees Keith’s frantic run and Keith falters for a split second. He’s never seen such fear on Shiro’s face before. Shiro runs towards Keith and gently takes Lance. Keith wants to breathe a sigh of relief as the blue paladin’s lifeless body is taken from him and his shaking arms are able to take a break.  But his breath is caught in his throat. Lance was still in danger, he can't afford to let himself relax just yet.

Together him and Shiro race towards the pods. Along the way, Coran must have been notified of the situation because when they arrived he’s there with a pod open and ready. Once they placed Lance inside and started it up, no one said anything for a long time. They were too busy trying to process what just happened. Keith breaks the moment when he falls to the floor as his unsteady legs give out. He isn’t even aware he’s crying until Shiro begins rubbing his back in small circles and softly talking to him.

“It’s okay, Keith. Lance will be fine.” Normally, Keith would be mortified to know that everyone could see him cry, but he’s too scared for Lance right now to care. When sobs finally turn into sniffles, Shiro coaxes Keith to his feet. “We did all we could for him. Now we just have to wait." Keith just stared blankly at the floor, feeling too guilty to look Shiro in the eye. This was his fault. All of this. What kind of person didn't notice the pain their friend was in? If only he'd arrived with the food sooner, maybe then he could have stopped Lance. Or better yet, if only he'd noticed how much pain Lance was in sooner.

“It’ll be a while before he gets out, so let’s go get cleaned up. Maybe sleep a bit.” Keith nods and numbly stares at his bloody hands. It horrified and disgusted him to know that this was the blood of someone he knew. Someone who, until just a couple of hours ago, was talking and trying his best to impress his team. When he looks up he sees the rest of team has arrived and shame burns through him when he realizes they most likely saw his breakdown. They’d never let him live it down.

“Here. I can bring him,” Hunk says softly. Shiro nods and steps back to let Hunk take his place. Keith can feel the warmth of a large hand on his back as Hunk gently coaxes him forward through the doors. The blood on Keith’s hands glistens in the light of the hallway. He stares, hating it with every fiber of his being and so desirably wanting it gone. The sticky wet feeling of it beneath his fingernails and in between his fingers makes his skin crawl. He moves to wipe it on his shirt but is stopped Hunk gently grabs his wrists. He shakes his head and pushes Keith’s arms down.

“We’ll wash it off soon. Just wait a little longer.” Keith wants to tell Hunk that he can’t wait. He  _needs_ it off now, but he doesn’t have the energy to argue. They reach his room and Keith rushes to the bathroom. As the cool water washes over his hands, Hunk starts going through Keith’s dresser drawers and picks out a pair of pajamas for him to change into. He quietly stands outside the bathroom door with the PJ’s and waits for Keith to finish cleaning his hands.

“Why?” Keith finally asks as he watches Hunk through the mirror.

“Why what?” Hunk says.

“Why would Lance do something like this?” Keith looks back down just in time to watch the water in the sink begin to run clear. As he turns off the sink, Hunk sighs and hands Keith his pj’s.

“I keep asking myself that. I should have seen this coming. He hasn't been himself lately, more withdrawn, almost no jokes. It's so obvious now, how could I not see this coming?” Hunk’s eyes began to tear up. “What kind of friend am I?” Keith quickly changes into fresh clothes so as not to get more blood everywhere before moving in to give Hunk an awkward hug. Hunk wraps his large arms around Keith and they stand like that for a long time before he speaks again.

“Don’t worry. Lance has been through a lot worse, he'll be ok.” Keith felt his eyes begin to water again and he’s thankful that it's Hunk here with him. He knows Hunk would never make fun of him for crying, unlike the some of the other paladins. Finally, they break apart and Hunk leads Keith to his bed. He waits until Keith crawls underneath the covers, before beginning to walk away. Before Hunk could get very far though Keith grabs his arm.

“Hunk. I, uh, just wanted to say thanks for everything,” He whispers. “And don’t place all the blame on yourself, we all should have seen his pain. We're a team after all and teams look out for each other.” Hunk smiles.

“Even as a kid, he was great at keeping things to himself. Getting him to admit his feelings were hurt was a struggle, to say the least. I still haven't heard a single detail about how he was poisoned that night at the party. You’d think he’d share that kind of thing with his best friend.”

“The only thing that makes sense,” Keith said, his voice quickly growing colder. “Is that the girl he went off with was somehow involved.” Hunk nodded.

“Pidge and I were thinking something similar. When he wakes up, we’ll ask. We shouldn’t let him keep hiding it from us anymore. We’re a team after all.” They sat in a heavy silence until Keith’s eyes began to close. His head ached from crying, and all he wanted was to forget that today had ever happened. He felt Hunk get up and tiptoe out of the room, turning off the light as he went. As the darkness claimed him, part of him wished he'd never wake up.

 

* * *

 

For the first time in a long time, Keith didn’t train when he woke up. Instead, he found himself standing in front of Lance’s pod, staring quietly at his sleeping face. It was unsettling to see Lance so quiet and still, and if Keith didn’t know better, he would have thought Lance was dead. The thought scared Keith more than he liked to admit and he shuddered as he leaned his forehead against the pod.

“Hurry up and get better.” He whispered. He hoped that on some level Lance could hear him, but he doubted it. Keith sighed as he slid down the pod’s surface until he was sitting on the ground.

“Why’d you do it, Lance?” He muttered. “Why now of all times? We were just starting to try to get you back on your feet. I thought we were making progress, so why did you still feel so hopeless?” He clenched his hands into fists. He wished he could understand Lance’s motive, but none of the reasons he thought of made sense. He resisted the urge to punch something, for fear of accidentally damaging a piece of equipment keeping Lance alive.

The Medical Bay doors slide open as Pidge walks in. Keith was taken aback at how tired they looked. Pidge’s eyes were red and puffy, and they didn’t seem to notice they had a smudge of grease on their cheek. Keith felt shame bubble up inside him. Pidge had been hard at work, probably all night, trying to find a way to help Lance despite being sad and scared. Whereas Keith had ceased to function and had lost all control over himself. _Pathetic,_ he thought angrily. Pidge paused when they spotted Keith.

“What are you doing here?” Pidge asks.

“Same as you, here for Lance,” Keith says simply. Pidge nods and sits down next to him.

“You know, for rivals, you’re awfully worried about him,” Pidge teases and Keith just scoffs.

“That rivals thing was all in Lance’s mind. I’ve never once considered him to be my rival.”

“Wow, arrogant much?” Keith blushes.

“I didn’t it that way,” he stammers, but before he can explain Pidge holds up a hand.

“Save it. I’m only teasing you. God, you’re dense.” Pidge leans back, their hands clasped behind their head. “We’ve continued working on the device for Lance.” They say softly.

“Coran’s positive that even though Lance can’t see right now, the occipital lobe and the visual cortex still work fine. Which means the poison must have only damaged the optic nerve. If we can somehow find a way around the damage or maybe even repair it, we could potentially get Lance’s sight back.”

“Is that difficult to do?” Keith asks. He’s never been in this kind of situation before, so he has no idea how doable this kind of thing would be. The fact that most of what Pidge had said had sailed over his head, also didn’t help matters any. His question must’ve been idiotic because Pidge released a sigh of frustration and rolled their eyes.

“Of course it's difficult, Keith. The optic nerve is located directly behind your eye, it's not a simple procedure. Coran’s the closest thing we have to an eye surgeon and not even he’s done something like this. We need to proceed very cautiously and if possible find some outside help.” Pidge’s face fell and they fidgeted uncomfortably where they sat. “Lance… can’t know yet though. Not until we have a definite plan of action at least.” Keith couldn’t believe his ears. He leaped to his feet.

 “Wait why?! Wouldn’t it be best to tell him right away? The news would give him hope, which is something he needs right now,” Keith is angry that Pidge would even consider keeping such important information from Lance. Pidge got to their feet and stared up at Keith angrily. Fresh tears fell down their cheeks as they spoke with a calmness that only someone on the edge of breaking could.

“You think I don’t want Lance to be happy again?” they growled. “We can’t tell him yet because none of us are entirely sure we can even pull this plan off. Look at him! He just tried to kill himself. Do you want to be the one to give him hope and then have to take it away later when you realize the plan doesn’t work? We were able to prevent his death this time, but what if he tries again? Do you really want his blood on your hands?” Keith wants to argue, but Pidge is right. So defeated, he drops back down to the floor and puts his head in his hands.

“You’re right,” He sighs.

He feels Pidge lean against his back as they sit down again. They both sit in silence for a long time, the moment only broken when Coran walks in. He nods to the both of them as he begins checking the readings on Lance’s pod.

“Not much longer, maybe another 30 doboshes or so. I’d advise gathering the others, they’ll probably want to be here when he gets out.” Pidge stands and dusts themself off.

“I’ll get Hunk. He was up all night working so he’s probably just sleeping in his room.”

“Sounds good Number Five, then I’ll head down to central command and update Shiro and Allura on the situation,”  Coran said as he walked out the door, shoulders slumped and head down. It was no secret that Coran had always had a soft spot for Lance, even before the Rover incident. After the accident at the party though, even Keith could see the change in Coran. He was more closed off, quieter and less enthusiastic. Keith supposed they all were like that to some extent, but with Coran, the change was more startling.

Keith stared at Pidge and Coran’s disappearing forms as he was left alone with Lance, once again. The stillness left in their absence feels overwhelming to Keith. When he looks towards Lance it’s disturbingly easy to imagine him as a corpse, forever hanging in the pod, never able to be probably mourned by his family. _Are they still looking for him?_ Keith wonders. _Does his mother stay up at night wondering where her little boy went? Hoping that tomorrow will be the day he returns._ The thought of Lance’s family forever uncertain if their son was dead or alive, but always holding out hope that he would return. Last night had almost caused that hope to become futile, and that terrified Keith.

“You’ll see your family again,” Keith vowed. “I’ll make sure of that.”

 

* * *

 

Seconds began to feel like years as the team filed into the room. They all waited anxiously for the telltale hiss of the pod door opening. Finally, there was a sound like a tire slowly losing air and Lance tipped forward. With a grunt, Keith catches Lance before he could face plant onto the floor. He grips the Blue Paladin tightly to his chest, half worried Lance would disappear if he let go. Slowly, Lance opens his eyes and looks around, confusion plain on his face as he tries to remember where he is. Shame passes over his face as he starts to remember and as gently as he can he pushes out of Keith’s arms.

“Sorry,” Lance says softly as he hangs his head. Even now Keith still isn’t sure what set him off, maybe it was because Lance had thought that he could just die without saying goodbye to the team who loved him. Maybe it was because Keith had spent hours sitting outside Lance’s pod, terrified he’d never come out. Whatever the reason, Lance’s sorry excuse for an apology made all of Keith’s sadness and anger come flooding out in a tidal wave of emotion.

“Sorry!?” His voice rose in pitch as his hurt feelings showed themself.  “That’s it? That’s the best you’ve got? Do you even know what you did? How much it hurt me to see you like that?”

‘Keith-” Shiro tried to place a hand on his shoulder, but Keith shrugged it off and stalked towards Lance.

“What makes you think that you can just disappear from our lives, not even an explanation let alone a goodbye. It’s bullshit. It’d hurt less if next time how about you looked me in the fucking eyes as you did it.” Lance flinches as if Keith was actually hitting him and soon he notices the tears dripping down Lance’s face. He hates himself for yelling, for saying these cruel and terrible things, but he can’t stop. It was like once the floodgates to Keith’s feelings were opened there was no way to close them. Just before Keith could continue tearing Lance a new one Shiro stepped between them.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” He roared. Everyone went still, the days where Shiro raised his voice were few and far between. In fact, Keith wasn’t sure he’d ever heard him speak in a tone even remotely louder than his usual voice. “Keith, out. Now.” Shiro spoke through clenched teeth as he tried to regain his composer. Keith didn’t even try to argue, just let out an angry huff and turned his back on the team as he stormed out of the room. As the door slid closed behind him and he wished for once it was able to be slammed.

 

* * *

 

Keith angrily hacked away at the training bot as he attempted to calm down. Although he was still fuming, he felt bad about the things he’d said. Lance didn’t deserve to be yelled at like that. He’d just gotten out of a pod from trying to kill himself, after all, what he needed was a hug and reassurance that everything was going to be ok.

Sweat dripped down Keith’s nose as he locked blades with the bot. And in one fluid motion, he kicked the knee out from under it before lunging forward and driving his blade straight through its metal heart.

“End training sequence,” Keith called out as he yanked his sword out. The bot sunk back into the floor as he used his shirt collar to wipe sweat from his forehead. There was movement at the corner of his eye and Keith turned just in time to watch Lance and Shiro walk past the arena doors. Shiro looked to be trying his best to cheer Lance up, but the boy only continued to stare at the floor. Keith took a deep breath. He should apologize now, waiting until later would only make things worse.

He swallowed his pride as he walked towards the door. Even when he was in the wrong, Keith never apologized first. He usually just ignored the problem and hoped the other person would eventually do the same. This time was different though, Keith had crossed a line. One that should never be crossed and he needed to fix it.

Shiro looked surprised when Keith approached and immediately stepped protectively in front of Lance. Keith felt his heart break as Shiro chose to fight on Lance’s side. He couldn’t blame Shiro though, he’d probably do the same thing if the roles were reversed.

“It’s ok Shiro. I’m not here to fight,” Keith said. “I’d actually like to apologize. Can you give us a second?” Shiro looked to Lance, conflicted as he tried to determine the best course of action.

“Sure. I need to talk to Allura anyway.” As Shiro passed he placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder and whispered.

“Please don’t leave Lance alone, wait with him until I come back. I don’t want him to try something again when we’re not watching because  next time, we might not be able to find him in time.” He patted Keith’s shoulder as he left.

“Hey man,” He began. Now that Shiro was gone Keith didn’t have the foggiest idea how to start apologizing. It didn’t help any that Lance just stood there, staring at nothing as if he couldn’t care less what Keith had to say. “Um. about before… I wanted to say.. so-” The words quickly died on Keith’s tongue as Lance held up a hand.

“What’s done is done.” Keith was taken aback at how flat and lifeless Lance’s voice sounded. It was like any trace of the energetic, fun-loving blue paladin had disappeared and left this new sadder Lance behind. The thought that the old Lance might never come back broke Keith’s heart. “I would like to sleep now if that’s ok with you.” Lance began to shuffle off towards his room. Keith shrugged and followed Lance. When they reached Lance’s room and Lance turned towards Keith.

“Can I have some privacy, or are we sleeping together now?” The irritation was obvious in his voice. Keith’s face and ears burned.

“I can’t leave you alone. You know that.” He said a bit too defensively.

“Worth a shot,” Lance muttered as he opened the door. Even though the room had been cleaned thoroughly (probably by Coran and Hunk) and the air now smelled of some weird alien Febreze Keith still shuttered as the memories of the previous night came flashing back. _Maybe the knife will still be there. Remember how it glinted in the blood?_  His mind whispered as his eyes darted towards a spot on Lance’s floor. _Remember how his body looked as his blood drained away?_ His mind pointed to the area near the pillow. _Can you tell where you carried him?_ He tracked an invisible blood trail with his eyes.

“Can we go to my room instead?” He choked out, as the walls began to close in on him. He felt dizzy as his breath quickened.

“Yeah. Sure.”  Lance must have known something was wrong because he didn’t argue with Keith’s suggestion, despite already being under his blankets. Keith couldn’t wait for Lance he felt bile rise in his throat. He needed out, now. On shaky legs, he staggered out the door and leaned against the wall as he tried to make the room stop spinning. He felt hands on his back as Lance began talking softly in his ear.

“Take a deep breath through your nose. Count with me. One…. Two…...Three. You’re doing very well. Now release the breath through your mouth.” After several attempts, Keith’s breathing finally slowed down and he didn’t feel like he was going to puke. The panic in his mind began to fade away and he smiled gratefully at Lance.

“Sorry for freaking out.” Lance just shrugged.

“It’s ok. My older sister used to have panic attacks a lot. I’m kind of used to them” Lance gestured. “Are you ok to continue?”

 “Yeah. Thanks.” Keith led Lance down the hallway to his room, legs still a little shaky but growing stronger with each step.

When he opened the door Lance promptly flopped down onto the bed. Keith settled himself down on the floor as he tried not to watch as Lance rearrange the covers to make things more comfortable. He reminded Keith of a cat getting comfortable.

“I’m sorry,” He said, the words came easier than he’d thought they would.

“It doesn’t matter,” Lance said, voice a little muffled by the blankets.

“It matters to me,” Keith said. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I was just…” He floundered a bit as he looked for the right word.

“I was scared that you wouldn’t make it. I didn’t want anything to happen to you because we need our sharpshooter. We need _you_ , and it hurt that you didn’t feel like you could share your feelings with us.” The words Keith had been holding back began to flow out, and he wasn’t sure he could stop them even if he wanted to. His vision swam with tears. “I waited for you, the whole time terrified you’d never come out. Scared that you’d some somehow die while in the pod. I wanted nothing more than to hear you explain why you did what you did. But instead, when you finally came out all you said was sorry. It was like you apologized for living instead of what you’d done, that’s why I got angry. So I'm sorry for everything I said back there.” A tear leaked down Keith’s cheek. That was probably the most he’d ever shared with someone, and it scared him to lay his feelings down so plainly like that.

Lance didn’t say anything for a long time. So long in fact that Keith began to wonder if he’d fallen asleep. But before he could check, Lance’s voice crackled to life.

“Sorry for doing that to you. I should have come to you before, I just didn’t think you’d care. We’re rivals after all, and what kind of rivals care about each other?”

“I don’t consider you my rival,” Keith said softly.

“You don’t?”

“No. You’re my friend, not my rival.” He felt his cheeks heat up. What was wrong with him? First, he cried in front of everyone and now he was getting flustered talking to Lance. Was he was sick or something? The boys sat in silence until Keith’s eyes grew heavy and Lance’s soft snores filled the room. Just as he began to fade away into sleep, Keith heard a small knock on his door. When he stood up to open it, he found Shiro standing on the other side.

“Hey, is Lance still with you?” Shiro asked. Keith put a finger to his lips and pointed to the bed before whispering.

“He just fell asleep.” Shiro nodded.

“You okay to stay here the rest of the night?”

Keith nodded. Shiro smiled appreciatively before walking off down the hall. Lance rolled over in his sleep as Keith closed the door. _He’s cute when he’s sleeping._ Keith thought as he stared at the peaceful expression on Lance’s face. _Wait… what?_ Keith shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. _I’m just tired. I didn’t mean it like that. He’s not cute he’s…_ Keith couldn’t think of a different word, so with a sigh, he lay down on the cold floor. As much as he wanted to sleep in his own bed, he didn’t want to creep out Lance by sleeping with him without his permission. So instead, he stayed where he was on the floor and used his arm as a pillow.

Sleep came slowly and it felt like as soon as he’d closed his eyes he was being woken up by a panicked voice calling out. Keith jumped up, his body complained about sleeping on the floor but he ignored it as the voice called out again. Lance was still on Keith’s bed, but now instead of peacefully sleeping he was thrashing and crying out. Keith wasn’t sure what to do. He’d heard somewhere that you should never wake someone up from a nightmare, but he didn’t know if that was true or not. Lance continued to writhe as if he were fending off an invisible swarm of wasps. His eyes squeezed shut tightly as he continued to yell.

“No, no, nonononono.”

 _Fuck this_ Keith thought as he leaned over and shook Lance’s shoulder. Almost instantly Lance was awake and scrambling backward until his back was hitting the headboard.

“NO! STOP!” He called. “PLEASE STOP!”

“Calm down Lance! It’s me!” Keith shouted as he cupped Lance’s tear soaked face in his hands. Lance smacked him in the ribs with his hand as he tried to get away, still confused from the nightmare.

“Lance! Snap out of it!” The Blue Paladin finally went quiet as he slowly processed what was happening. He felt around in confusion, and Keith tried not to complain when Lance’s hands explored his face. Pinching and poking until he was satisfied.

“Keith?” He asked. His voice hoarse from screaming.

“You were having a nightmare,” Keith explained as he slowly let go of Lance’s face, only then did he realize he was straddling Lance’s legs. At some point, while he was trying to wake Lance up he’d moved onto the bed and sat on Lance’s legs to keep them from kicking him. He quickly moved off and instead chose to sit next to Lance on the bed. The blue paladin leaned against the wall as he continued to process everything. “Do you want to talk about it?”  Keith asked tentatively.

Lance hugged himself protectively. “I was dreaming about that girl. Trege.” Keith cocked his head.

“Who?”

“The girl who I went off with that night. The one who did this to me.” He gestured angrily at his eyes. “In the dream, she was standing over me with a knife. She kept laughing and taunting me, telling me she was going to cut my eyes out and scope out my brain.” Lance buried his face in his hands. Keith wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. On his best days he wasn’t the best person to have a heart to heart with and in the middle of the night? Well, let’s just say Lance would’ve been better off talking to a brick wall. All Keith could think to do was lightly wrap his arms around Lance’s trembling body.

“You’re ok. It was just a dream.” He said. Lance looked up angrily.

“You don’t get it! I’m not scared of the dream,” He released a shaky breath. “I’m scared of Trege. She tried to kill me, and she has the ability to sneak into the castle undetected. Who’s to say she won’t come back to finish the job when she learns I’m still alive? And when she comes back I can’t even defend myself.” Keith understood why Lance was scared. He was a sitting duck, blind and unable to protect himself if the hunter came back for round two.

“I won’t let that happen.”

“How? You can’t be around 24/7. Eventually, you’ll get tired of me.”

“We’ll track down Trege as a team. She can’t kill you if we deal with her first.” Lance looked skeptical.

“What will you do with her?”

“Shiro would probably make her sleep forever in a pod or put her in space jail or something.” Keith chuckled before quickly growing serious again. “But I mean, whatever it takes to keep her away I’m willing to do.” Lance leaned into Keith.

“Even killing her?”

“If that’s what it takes,” Keith promised grimly.

“Can you sleep with me tonight?” Lance asks, causing both of them to blush. Keith nods before tugging Lance down into a more comfortable sleeping position. Because the Paladin beds weren’t made for two people it was a little squishy sleeping on their backs, so they moved onto their sides. Keith placed an arm around Lance’s middle and they lay there in silence. Did friends do this sort of thing? Keith wasn’t sure, but as he stared at Lance’s face in the darkness, he didn’t care.

“If you tell anyone about this I’ll kill you,” Lance whispered.

“Same goes for you. I’m not afraid to whoop your ass, blind or not.” Lance snorted and despite the darkness that shrouded his features, Keith could tell he was smiling. Lance snuggled his face into Keith’s chest and after a few minutes was asleep. Keith smiled. Never in a million years would he have pictured him and Lance in this situation. _It’s amazing._ He thinks as he begins to drift off. _How life can change in the blink of an eye._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also for those of you wondering about Trege don't worry she will be making a comeback, maybe not next chapter but she'll be back. Just as a side note "The Sound of Silence" by Disturbed is a masterpiece. Thanks for reading! And see you next chapter!


	8. Hiatus

A friend died. I need a bit. Be back later. Sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> See you next chapter! Thank you all so much for reading.


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